Monday, September 26, 2005

Terrible, Humorous Date #3

Although I've been on a lot of terrible, humorous dates, I've also been on a few terrible, humorous non-dates as well. I am still trying to figure out exactly how I got myself into this situation. A few years ago, a friend of mine introduced me one of his buddies. Apparently the buddy had seen me around and wanted to ask me out. I had also noticed the buddy, and I was very pleased when he ask me out.

However the "date, or non-date" didn't really go the way I thought it would. He ask me to go out to a local bar with him. At this point I was thinking we would have a couple of drinks, just the two of us. Not exactly how it happened. I was suffering from a terrible cold, and I was taking med's that wouldn't allow me to drink. Upon telling my non-date this he thought I should drive then, so we would be safe when we left the bar. I was okay with that, but I wasn't okay when I picked him up for our date and he had three other guys with him. I looked like I was pimping out these guys when we got to the bar. They where all dressed in the average college style, I just stepped out of Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue, and they where all about getting trashed that night. Shots, fishbowls, you name it, in a two hour period these boys where hammered. I wasn't feeling so good due to my cold, and there was something very odd going on at our table. If I wouldn't have known better I could have sworn I was crashing their date. It looked to me like these boys where more than just your average "buddies".

Well after three hours, I decided it was time to go home and get some rest, I felt awful. The boys decided to stay at the bar, so I left. My date didn't walk me to the door, didn't tell me he would call me, nothing. Oh well, I thought as I drove home from the bar, he's to much of a metro sexual for me anyway. He called me the next afternoon, he said he had a great time, he was happy I got along with all of his buddies, and he wanted to go out again, as soon as I started feeling better. How strange that he was asking me out again. Well I couldn't say no, I was curious now. So, a week later he invited me over to a friends house for a party. When I arrived there where no cars in the drive. The party turned out to be the same four guys playing poker. Well I didn't bring any cash, so I stayed long enough to be polite, then I went home. Again, the non-date didn't walk me to the door, nothing.

Two days later, he called me again to tell me he was sorry if I felt left out while they where playing poker, and he couldn't wait to see me again. He said he wanted to go out just the two of us. I was excited about this idea because we hadn't spent any time together without his entourage. So we made plans for the next week. When he picked me up, he commented that I looked great. I was so happy, finally just some us time, or so I thought. He took me to this crowded bar, where the music is loud and the dance floor is really crowded. Of course his three friends where there, and of course we sat with them. The entire night was basically like the two before it. We all talked, hung out, and I had plenty of time to think about what was going on here. This made three dates, and so far it was more like hanging out with a bunch of guy friends. Maybe my non-date just thought I was a cool girl, who would be fun to hang out with. I had no idea what was going on. So that night when he took me home, he told me he had a great time, and that he loved spending time with me. He also said he was going to be out of town for a couple of days, but that he would call me when he got back.

While he was gone I met up with a girl friend of mine and we tried to analyze the situation. She had only one theory, that my non-date was gay. She said he must be, why wouldn't he at least give me a kiss on the cheek, hold my hand, something. So, she devised a plan. The next time I went out with my non-date, she was going to be there with a couple of her gay friends, she said they would be able to tell me if my non-date was gay in a second. So about a week later, I had my forth non-date. We went to the same crowded smoky bar we had gone to on our last non-date. When we got there my girl friend and her gay friends where waiting. We sat down at their table, and had a great time. Everyone got along great, it was so much fun. Towards the end of the night, I got up to go to the restroom, and a gay friend followed me out into the hall. He told me that he knew the second I walked in the bar that my non-date was not into girls. He said that he had seen the non-date on a real date, in a different town, with a guy. He said it was very obvious to him and the other gay friends at the table. I didn't know what to think. It was so strange. If my non-date was gay, why wouldn't he just tell me. He was a lot of fun, we could still have gone out as friends, at least I would have known what was going on.

When he took me home that night I decided not to mention it. How do you ask a guy that is obviously not out about his dating preferences if he is gay or not? The funny thing is, the guy never called me again. I don't think I acted any differently, and I know he hadn't overheard my conversation with the gay friend, he must have realized that it would be obvious to them. So that was that. Until about a year ago.

I ran into him at a bar one night. He was so sweet to me, we ended up hanging out for several hours. His friends and my friends got along great, and we all had a lot to drink. At the end of the night, and several shots later, they former non-date ask me if he could take me out sometime. At this point I had been running the previous story through my mind all night. I had been trying to watch him, see if he seemed gay, watch how he acted towards other males. He definitely didn't seem completely straight. I had had enough. Our non-dates had bothered me for months. I decided it was time to tell him about it. So we walked outside and I told him I didn't think it was a good idea for us to go out. I told him that for over a year I had been trying to figure out what he didn't like about me the first time. Why he never kissed me, took me out just the two of us, or called me back for that matter. He said he didn't know and that he would try to come up with the answer for me.

Me not being one to beat around the bush blurted out that he should just tell me if he's gay. I wouldn't think anything less of him, and I would never tell anyone. (although I guess I am right now, but I'm not using his name, so I think I still kept my promise) He said that he was, and that not many people knew about it. I promised to keep his secret, but I did have to ask why did he keep asking me out if he knew he wasn't going to be interested in me.

To this his response shocked me, it was the biggest compliment/insult I would ever get. He said he always took me to crowded bars because he knew if people saw us together, no one would ever think he was gay. He said that rumors had begun to circle because he didn't date much. He knew that we would have a good time, and that I was a good girl, wouldn't try anything, and I also wouldn't ask for to much.

I was shocked! How do you reply to that kind of answer? So I told him I appreciated him finally being honest with me, and that I hoped he found what he was looking for. I also told him if he ever needed a date, and he had to take a female, he could call me! Now this story really never turned into a "tell my girl friends" type story. They all knew who I would have been talking about, and I didn't think it was wise to spread it around. It's a funny story, if you think about the mess I always seem to get myself into. But at the same time, it's sort of sad because he never could be him self. He was to worried about what society thought of him, and how his peers would judge him. How terrible to have to live that way.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Holden said...

So basically he used you? You should have been ticked. Well, not really, I guess, considering the societal circumstances. Crazy story though. How do you get yourself into these things? So, were his friends gay too or did they not know?

2:33 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

I have no idea how I get myself into these things. Funny thing is, these situations just happen to find me. I know I should have been mad, but what's the worst that happen to me? I went out, met a few new people, was kept on my toes for a few weeks, and even though it was confusing, I had a pretty good time. He was harmless, and a great dancer!! I really think his friends may have been in the same situation he was in, so they all just sort of bonded together.

6:02 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:03 AM  

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