Just When

Just when she thinks that's it, he calls. She tells herself that she shouldn't answer the phone, it's late, and she has to work the next day. For anyone else, she wouldn't answer it, but it's him. She can't help it, for now, she wants to know what he wants. The only way she can find out is by answering the phone. She looks at her clock, the phone keeps ringing, it's almost 4:30am. She can't help herself, she wants to hear his voice.

He tells her he misses her. He's sorry he hasn't gotten to talk to her in so long. She just listens, just his voice brings her happiness. He says he knows he's upset her, and he promises to make it up. She wonders how he plans on doing that. As he tells her the things she wants to hear, she drifts back to her memories of him. They talk for a while longer, then he says it's late and he should get some rest. They hang up, and she knows it maybe forever before she hears from him again. It may be never. She tries to fall back asleep, but she can't, she can't clear her mind of him.

Days go by and she doesn't hear from him. She thinks about him, she even calls him and leaves him a message about some good news she has gotten. He's silent, and she knows nothing of how or where he is.

Just when she thinks that's it, he writes. He sends her a sweet message telling her that he knows how she is feeling. He says he knows she is trying to forget him, and he knows that she is everything to him. But, she knows it's almost 4am when he sends the message, and he may not have really meant all he said. Days go by, she gets another message from him. It's rushed and not really personal, and he knows it.

Just when she thinks that's it, it is. She hasn't heard from him now, really heard from him, in a while. She knows he's busy, she knows she can't compete with the other things going on in his life. She just thought it might be just a little more like what he promised, and just a little less like the negative thoughts she's had the whole time.

The strange thing is, while she's sad, she's also really happy..for him. It's bittersweet. So what should she do now? She's never sat home willing her phone to ring, she still goes out and has fun and meets new people. But for some reason she always has him in the back of her mind. She should forget him, she is really trying to just forget him. She knows it's time to just let it go.