Sit, Stay, Heal, Ex

"I've thought about it, and I don't think it's a good idea if you go on Saturday," he said to me as he looked at the ground. "It's just that, I don't want to do anything to intentionally hurt her feelings, she didn't do anything to deserve that."

This was the conversation we had just a little over a month ago. He was going to a wedding shower were he is the best man. He invited me as his date and then thought better of it because he didn't want to hurt the ex's feelings. At the time I was a little upset, I felt like he was putting her feelings before mine, but I understood and, as much as I hate to admit it, was appreciative of how thoughtful he was being. But it still hurt that he was thoughtful to an ex, and not to me. But, we made it though that. I went to a shower for a good friend of mine that night, he went to his shower, and afterward we met up and it was great. It was just a bump in the road, and in some ways it made us stronger. He promised me I would never have to worry about the ex's feelings again, from now on it was not an issue.

"I'm going to be keeping her dog this weekend while she is out of town," he said on the phone. "I think it's important to keep the line of communications open in case I need her to keep my dog when we go on vacation in August."

This was not something I was ready to hear. While we are fine, we are great in fact, I do hear about this certain ex a lot. From his friends, from him, even from his family, it makes it tough on me when I feel like I'm having to fill her shoes. The thing is though, she seems great, she seems like a fun time girl who is super nice. I'm not so insecure in the relationship that I’m worried that this whole "exchanges of dogs" will spark something between them again. It's more of the fact that it goes against my philosophy that and ex is and ex for a reason. I can understand him being friends with his ex, I’m still friends with most of mine. But, I don't keep their dogs, and I don't dis-invite my date based on how it will effect the ex.

Of course I voiced my opinion, that's what I do. I'm not one of those people who holds everything in until I explode. I don't think that's healthy. Of course it caused quite the rift between us for the better part of the day. After 6.5 miles on the treadmill, and 1.5 miles on the stair climber I still couldn't figure out where I was being irrational, I may have acted a little childish when we discussed it, but I wasn't asking to much, or at least I didn't think so. What it all came down to for me was that he was putting what was good for her above my feelings again, after he had promised he wouldn't. That was what it was really about for me. I told him I would never intentionally do something when I knew that it really bothered someone that I cared about. He said that I had nothing to worry about, that he was crazy about me. I believed him, I believe him still, but it doesn't make me feel better about the situation. After the talk there was only one thing to do, agree to disagree. He thinks it's okay, I don't, and that's all there is to it.

We have plans this weekend. Movies and snuggle time tonight, and the river tomorrow with some friends. However, now we are dog sitting for the ex's as well. Hopefully this will make me stronger, and hopefully babysitting won't become a common thing.