Fight Or Flight

There is a theory that says when an animal is threatened it either fights the threat or gets the heck out of there. Well, I've been dealing with this theory myself. And as is my history, I've thought about running the hell away.

It started last week, when the reality that I was about to introduce the boyfriend to the family hit me. For me, this is a huge deal. I've lived in Little Rock for almost three years, and never in that time have I dated anyone that was actually family worthy. So, the fact that the boyfriend met them this past weekend has freaked me out a little. It's made me realize just how much I like this boyfriend, and just how much that scares the hell out of me.

So why does it scare me? Why do I get all ba-jig-ity? I'm not afraid of getting hurt. If I do, I'll live, not many people die from a broken heart. It's more than that, it's more than the thought of losing him. I'm scared and I want to run because I like him. I really do, and I think this like will turn into something more, something bigger. That scares the hell out of me.

I talked to the boyfriend about this. I was hesitant, but he knew something was bothering me, and I would want him to talk to me if he was feeling funky about something. So, I told him, I told him exactly how I felt. I even got a little emotional about it (I know, as tough as I act, I still sometimes have my girly moments). I think deep down I also knew that I would only feel better if I talked to him about it, only he could ease my mind. He did exactly what I would have wanted him to do, he didn't give me compliments and he didn't try to pump me up. He told me that there was no reason for me to be scared, and that he was happy I told him how I felt. He said this was a good thing, it showed I cared. (I mean seriously, how good is he?)

So, I could run like hell, realize down the road that I ran away from something that was great, but could have been better than great. Or I can stay, stay and fight my fear, and not only become a stronger person for it, but keep a great boyfriend too. I think I'll fight it out, I think it's worth it.