Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Distance Between

I've been thinking a lot lately about distance. Hours, miles, emotional distance, how much is too much distance. It seems like lately there is so much distance between the people that mean the most to me.

Brother Chef lives in North Carolina, I rarely get to see him. We are both so caught up in our own lives we don't talk near as much as we should. Don't get me wrong, I love him and I would do anything for him, but the distance makes it hard to be as close as I would like.

My very best friend lives north of our small southern hometown. I used to see her about once a month, but I never go home anymore, so I never see her. We talk, but I haven't seen her since March. That's the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. There is just to much distance between us right now.

I recently moved, and when I did my best friend neighbor moved also. She moved to another town, so there are now about 30 miles between our houses instead of 15 feet. I used to sit out back with her in the evening and have a drink. We would talk about our day, and usually about my most recent crush. I got to see her this week, but it's not the same, the distance has changed things.

Things have changed with my best LR friend too. We still live close, but emotionally things are distant. We are working to make the space not so far apart, but it's not easy. I don’t know if we are the same people we were months ago, and that makes me wonder if maybe I've just changed that much, come so far, that it will be hard to go back.

There is definitely distance between me and the MS Boy. So far, it's not an issue. Nine hours is not as bad as I thought. We will see how I fill about that in say a month, or a few, but for now, it's not bad. I don't know what it's like to see him all the time, so I don't really have anything to compare it to. But the distance is reality when I have to catch a flight to see him, instead of just jumping in the car and driving right over.

Sometimes I just wonder how much distance is to much, and when do you know to pull closer to those you care the most about before they are so far away you can't get them back?

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