Another Fabulous Disaster

This title is taken from a line in one of my favorite songs. The song is about how things always turn into another fabulous disaster. I really had no idea what this meant until recently, when I had something that was fabulous, and now it's a disaster.

I've been hesitant to really write something about a previous dating experience I was involved in because I am a huge believer in the jinx. It seems like every time I get comfortable enough with a guy to talk about it with friends, it gets jinxed and then I have to spend time explaining what did or didn't happen when my friends ask about him. Although it's no secret that I've had quite the crush for several months, I have laid low, kept it to myself, for the most part, and waited it out.

Then a few weeks ago I began spending a little time with the crush. I found that I liked his different views on things, I liked how sweet he was, and I liked how I felt when I was around him. I tried to relax and just enjoy it, and I did. I began to feel some of my doubt and negativity melt away, I began to care. It's crazy how just when I started to get comfortable with him, just when I began to feel like the bottom wasn't going to fall out this time, he was actually everything I thought he was, it did-the bottom fell out. Just like that.

He could see right through me. What began as a conversation escaladed into what I would assume was a misunderstanding. I remember him telling me I would never trust him, I would never understand. Then the strangest thing happened, everything seemed fine, I thought for sure it was a misunderstanding and nothing more. But then, I didn't really hear from him again. After the absolute best date I've ever been on, after the most unbelievable night, after all that, nothing. The worst part is, I don't know if it was a misunderstanding, if he actually did like me, what happened, or if he really thinks I would never trust him. For the first time since I can remember, I trusted, I wasn't anxious, I was happy, and now nothing.

I had it, it was fabulous, and I may have accidentally turned it into a disaster.