August And Everything After

"Round here, she's always on my mind. Round here, hey man got lots of time. Round here we're never sent to bed early, and no body makes us wait, round here we stay up very, very, very, very late."

I must have listened to that song a hundred times that summer as my mom and I drove to Tennessee to D's Designs. It was early August, I was 14, and about to start high school. I never realized how fast those four years would go by, I didn't have as much time as I thought. I was focused on paginates that summer. I was the biggest tomboy, but I loved to get dressed up and walk across the stage. So my mom drove me to Tennessee several times that summer for dress fittings. Those car rides used to wear me out. I hated the two hour drive, and we always left early in the morning. I had usually been up late the night before, so I just wanted to sleep on the way there, but mom always wanted to talk. I realize now how precious those trips were.

We would listen to County Crows and sing out loud. There was a great little diner across from D's were they had the best Ruben's I'd ever eaten. I would have at least two every time we went. I was lucky my mom never mentioned watching my weight as I was being fitted for a $700 dress with a corned beef sandwich in one hand and a can of coke in the other. But that's mom, she let me be a kid while I was trying my best to seem grown up.

That was such a long time ago. It's strange that I realize now just how important that time was in my life. I was right on the edge of womanhood, but I still liked to play basketball with the boys on the goal that my dad put up in the driveway. I might be dove hunting with the family one morning, and in a paginate that evening. And through all of that my mom was there to haul me around, console me when I didn't place in a paginate, cheer me up with junk food and more trips to D's. She would pick me up at softball practice, and drive me an hour to a hotel so I could shower and get dressed up to walk across stage in a floor length gown.

"Round here, we're caving out our names. Round here, we all look the same. Round here we talk just like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs."