Shoe Monster

I love shoes, I do. I love the way stilettos make me feel sexy. I love the way my newly manicured toes look in a pair of strappy sandals. I love my snakeskin BCBG sling backs with the red toe, I love my new bronze hills with the rhinestone accents on the buckle. I love how versatile my Rainbow flip-flops are. I wear them with jeans, on the river, every where. So when something happens to a pair of my shoes, it's serious business.

I am constantly repairing heels, or resoling, I spend a lot of money on my shoes, but they are worth it to me. So something has recently been causing a lot of trouble with my shoe supply. They have been disappearing out of my closet. That's right, gone, vanished, missing!

I can't explain what is happening. It all started a few weeks ago. I got up and got dressed for work as usual. But when I went to get my black, tall, strappy sandals out of my closet, they were gone. I tore through my closet like a wild woman, pulling out shoe boxes, tennis shoes, house shoes, but no black, tall, strappy sandals. What could have happened to them? Because of this incident I had to change clothes, making me late for work. I thought and thought about the last time I had worn them. Could it be possible that I lost them? I remember clearly that I wore them just a few days before, and I had put them away like I always did. This made no sense.

The next day, same story, only this time it was my copper Ralph Lauren sandals missing. This was starting to get a little ridiculous. Again, thinking back, I had just worn them not two weeks earlier. Two days later the Ralph Lauren's were back in my closet, but a hot pink shoe box holding my all time favorite sexy, black BCBC stilettos was missing.

Could it be possible that I have a shoe monster living in my house somewhere? I know my roommate wouldn't wear them. He has four legs and a tail, expensive shoes are lost on him. So what is happening to my shoes? I wondered briefly if the boyfriend's dog had eaten them, and he had hidden the evidence. But he said that wasn't the case and he hadn't seen them. The only two people that have a key to my place is my neighbor, who wears a shoe 3 sizes smaller than my own, and the boyfriend, and he promises he did not borrow them.

Well after two weeks I can't go on without a pair of black, strappy sandals. It looks like I will be taking a shopping trip this evening to replace them. But what about my favorite BCBG's that I won't be able to replace because they only made them last season? I guess I will have to find some new all time favorite sexy, black stilettos.

While I'm pissed about the shoes, I'm also pissed about the money. I love shoes, but I have expensive taste, and I tend to spend a lot of money on a pair of shoes that I know will last me a long time. So, if anyone wants to send a donation to the "Buy Anne Some New Sexy Shoes Fund" let me know and I will give you an address were checks or cash maybe sent! Oh, and if you see a Black Lab or a gold and white Chihuahua wearing shoes that look suspiciously like the ones described above, please contact me. Both dogs looked like they were hiding something when I ask them about the missing shoes.